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february so mean

 
all the metal dashing one way, the opposite way which I'm going

i've already decided to drive by my decisions rather than the science of the machine

& i never been one to announce my arrival

i prefer to let it speak for itself

the “science”

the parachutes and the long beach of it all

i feel like a soldier on a battlefield

& i give quite easily 

i dream and through a portal, i see a friend in real time

soul intact but swimming through deep water, through a maze,

(the urge to trade places)

towards what i suppose is a name in lights ?

sometimes in hindi, sometimes in chinese characters but always in my accent

sometimes in full jester mode but she tells me not now

gently she says not now

her hands and her spirit slow to let go

(in and out of the abundance)

..

should i be thinking differently about all these recurring themes ?

bout the fishhooks and waves and lures ?

what they using as bait nowadays ?

the salt and sweet built up attracts a hummingbird

catches me and my face at the house

fluttering like the waterfall spirit

me, stuck in the haute couture

amongst .. muchas voladores 

alegres, hastiadas, hambrientas

nature still comes through in needles of light, in movement

"no sun, no flowers"


..


tall lil mitsubishi van with the right side driver 

rare moment of vulnerability, josh's sister picked us up

i'm tellin em how i think its really over

and i was definitely in the back seat

and i'm sure we were driving up 60th

and i'm sure i slept in my clothes that night 

sunset camaro ain't made no friends

sometimes i double down

sometimes i remind you of your nerves

feverish,

out here in our very real bodies

red like rubies

quick like money slow like love

..

i get close and then i get far don't i

february why are you always so mean

why do you always make me so mean

and so soft and so tender

looking at a map, trying to find the source of the thames just by walking up the river

burnt it for a hug

demons tear off the hand when we sleep,

the stealing hand that i'm still tryna use for good,

cost me just $10 and the pain